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Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Best
Like
Handicapped
Parking
Spots
Ones
Women

More quotes by Zach Braff

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Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts?
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You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.
Zach Braff
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If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
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If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.
Zach Braff
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Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.
Zach Braff
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I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.
Zach Braff
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
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Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
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People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.
Zach Braff
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I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.
Zach Braff
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It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture
Zach Braff
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I'm a film geek man. I love toys. I love everything in filmmaking, so for me to just be around this technology is just so cool to watch it being used for the first time, some of the stuff.
Zach Braff
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If I had a billion dollars I would...oh wait...already do.
Zach Braff
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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
Zach Braff
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When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
Zach Braff
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Look on the bright side that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.
Zach Braff
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People are always going to find fault with anything you do, any process that you're a part of. The creative process means taking risks, I've taken risks and I've made mistakes, but the bottom line is, could anyone else have done any better ? I have to believe that what I created was worthwhile.
Zach Braff
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It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
Zach Braff
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People keep asking me whether I'm going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I'm like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
Zach Braff
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I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?
Zach Braff