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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Leading
Read
Funny
Life
Fraction
Tabloids
Fractions
Reporting
More quotes by Zach Braff
I'm not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away.
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
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I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
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Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.
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I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
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They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I'm above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.
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Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.
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One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.
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People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.
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Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.
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If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
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I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.
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To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.
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It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.
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I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
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My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.
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I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
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It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
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