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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Leading
Read
Funny
Life
Fraction
Tabloids
Fractions
Reporting

More quotes by Zach Braff

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When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
Zach Braff
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
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Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.
Zach Braff
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I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.
Zach Braff
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I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
Zach Braff
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I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.
Zach Braff
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
Zach Braff
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If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
Zach Braff
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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.
Zach Braff
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Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that
Zach Braff
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I think they're bogus, honestly. How utter garbage like Crash and Million Dollar Baby can win best picture, where true works of art such as Garden State go untouched is beyond me. It just proves how close-minded America really is, and I refuse to take part in it.
Zach Braff
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I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.
Zach Braff
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Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?
Zach Braff
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I never looked at bread the same way again
Zach Braff
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
Zach Braff
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
Zach Braff
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When I played the Shins, I changed someone's life. When I play Belle and Sebastian in a pivotal scene in my next movie...well, let's just say I made sure I that I can't be held legally responsible for all the deaths people will suffer out of shock upon hearing them. They're a terrific band.
Zach Braff
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One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.
Zach Braff
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The fact that 'Scrubs' is so popular in Israel is very important to me. I feel like I'm helping to cancel out the thousands of years of oppression the Jewish people have suffered.
Zach Braff
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I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.
Zach Braff