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My co-stars aren't bad actors, but they're no Zach Braff.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Actors
Zach
Aren
Stars

More quotes by Zach Braff

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Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.
Zach Braff
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
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I think I suffer from some mild depression.
Zach Braff
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I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.
Zach Braff
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
Zach Braff
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
Zach Braff
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I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?
Zach Braff
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I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do
Zach Braff
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Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.
Zach Braff
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I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
Zach Braff
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You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.
Zach Braff
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I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
Zach Braff
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When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?
Zach Braff
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It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
Zach Braff
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I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.
Zach Braff
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I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.
Zach Braff
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Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.
Zach Braff
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When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
Zach Braff
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So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
Zach Braff
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In theater or movies you see either 'I'm religious' or 'I'm an atheist.' I've never seen too much discussion of 'I believe there's a higher power but I'm hesitant to reach out to him because I don't know if I'm worthy of his attention.
Zach Braff