Quote

I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Like
Face
Boards
Faces
Sooner
Learn
Adult
Easy
Consequence
Kids
Competition
Better
Adults
Punch
Play
Winning
Entering
Never
Games
Board

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I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?
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Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
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I donno, it's not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
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In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.
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I don't like the term 'black people', I find it demeaning to those of us that actually qualify as 'people'.
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Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.
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I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?
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I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't really matter what I do or my lines are, I'm still Zach Braff, and people know I'm better than them.
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If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.
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I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
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I tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team for besides holding me back and sucking? If I wanted that, I'd just walk on the set of 'Scrubs'.
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What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
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The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
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People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.
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I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.
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Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
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Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.
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I find it hard to believe that so many people doubt the existence of God. I mean, seriously, I'm here, so is it such a stretch to imagine that another all-powerful being could exist somewhere in the universe?
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I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
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