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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Learned
Something
Lazy
Drive
Everywhere
Dog

More quotes by Zach Braff

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Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?
Zach Braff
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I love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket AND another portrait for my bedroom.
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I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.
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Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
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My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
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People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.
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I don't want to be one of those guys, but Snape DOES kill Dumbledore.
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I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.
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I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.
Zach Braff
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The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
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One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.
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Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?
Zach Braff
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I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?
Zach Braff
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
Zach Braff
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I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
Zach Braff
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Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that
Zach Braff
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I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?
Zach Braff
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It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.
Zach Braff
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Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.
Zach Braff
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A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.
Zach Braff