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You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Tell
Eugenics
Secret
Success

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I donno, it's not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.
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I don't think that other races are inferior, I just think that there's something special about white people. Sometimes, when I think about all the things white people have accomplished throughout history, I smile, and I nod, and I think to myself, 'Yeah, I'm glad I'm on that team.'
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Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
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Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
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It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture
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I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. I would have much rather it had been that I am secretly a dentist or that I love soup.
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I really don't give a care, I'm going to live for ever
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I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?
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I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.
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I think the saddest moments in life have humor in them. I have a memory of coming home from a funeral with my family in the back of a limousine and someone cracking a joke and us just hysterically belly laughing. It's how we always dealt with tragedy in our lives and I think it's such a healthy way to deal with sadness.
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People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.
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The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.
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My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.
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The Jews are just clumsy bakers.
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To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.
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They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?
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Yeah, I've banged some female costars. I swore I'd never tell their names, so instead I'll present some anagrams: Sahar Clahke and Haether Gharam.
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I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].
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Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.
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Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.
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