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I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Without
Bishop
Looks
Bishops
Remove
Mirrors
Seem
Seems
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Buff
More quotes by Zach Braff
My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
Zach Braff
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
Zach Braff
People are always saying bad things about them, but really they think they're just trying to clean up our planet. I'm not saying it's right but, you know, we could all benefit from following that example.
Zach Braff
When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?
Zach Braff
I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.
Zach Braff
Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven.
Zach Braff
I think the Bible should be re-written for today's society. We can call it 'Scrubs.'
Zach Braff
I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.
Zach Braff
I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.
Zach Braff
I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff
Zach Braff
I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.
Zach Braff
Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
Zach Braff
Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.
Zach Braff
I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Zach Braff
I'm 26 years old, and I've spent my whole life waiting for something else to start. Now I realize that this is all there is, and I'm going to try to live my life like that.
Zach Braff
It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.
Zach Braff
When I was little I always wanted to drive a train. That, and become a baker.
Zach Braff
It's a really fun hobby to set imagery to music, and finding the right songs for that. Your favorite song in the world might not work at all... for one reason or another.
Zach Braff
It's kind of ironic that my character is a doctor who acts very gay with his best friend. I don't see how gays could ever be doctors, they spend too much time whining about everything. Just get off your soapbox and go back to designing floral arrangements.
Zach Braff