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I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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More quotes by Zach Braff

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I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
Zach Braff
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If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.
Zach Braff
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The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?
Zach Braff
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The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
Zach Braff
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So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don't see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.
Zach Braff
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I could see why someone would want to make a website about me, and my quotes. They are all gold. How many people have written, directed AND starred in their own movies. I just don't know why they would want to put words into my mouth, I mean I did write, direct AND star in a critically acclaimed movie.
Zach Braff
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I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.
Zach Braff
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Yeah i thought about making the character of JD gay... But then i thought, but what about all the poor girls dreams you'll be crushing
Zach Braff
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Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.
Zach Braff
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I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.
Zach Braff
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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It's like denying the cure for polio or something.
Zach Braff
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I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
Zach Braff
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I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.
Zach Braff
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
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In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.
Zach Braff
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I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
Zach Braff
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The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.
Zach Braff
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Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.
Zach Braff
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Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.
Zach Braff
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I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.
Zach Braff