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I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Remove
Mirrors
Seem
Seems
Home
Look
Buff
Without
Bishop
Looks
Bishops

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In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.
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If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
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Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?
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She can't say no if she's unconscious.
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If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!
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Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.
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I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.
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Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.
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It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
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It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough
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I wouldn't say I'm bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I'd say probably, yeah, but as far as I know, the bible is never clear on this.
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I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
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Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart!
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Yeah, I've banged some female costars. I swore I'd never tell their names, so instead I'll present some anagrams: Sahar Clahke and Haether Gharam.
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I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.
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I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State
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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
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Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
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