Quote

Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.

Zach Braff

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Writing
Turning
Bible
Wine
Stupid
Water
Write
Mean

More quotes by Zach Braff

Image
If I had a billion dollars I would...oh wait...already do.
Zach Braff
Image
In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.
Zach Braff
Image
Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist
Zach Braff
Image
I had a very funny family.
Zach Braff
Image
A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.
Zach Braff
Image
I'm 26 years old, and I've spent my whole life waiting for something else to start. Now I realize that this is all there is, and I'm going to try to live my life like that.
Zach Braff
Image
Working on 'Scrubs' made me feel guilty because I realized that if I had decided to become an actual doctor, instead of just playing one, I could probably have found a cure to cancer within five years.
Zach Braff
Image
I really like just super dry comedy.
Zach Braff
Image
One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
Zach Braff
Image
So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
Zach Braff
Image
The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.
Zach Braff
Image
I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.
Zach Braff
Image
Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like.
Zach Braff
Image
I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
Zach Braff
Image
I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.
Zach Braff
Image
I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.
Zach Braff
Image
I am really driven, but my drive doesn't effect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.
Zach Braff
Image
I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
Zach Braff
Image
I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.
Zach Braff
Image
I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
Zach Braff