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So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Would
Face
Crap
Men
Faces
Favor
Like
Woman
Favors
Black
Fronts
Running
Front
Country
Hollywood
Syphilis
Made
Couldn
Deprive
Years
Choose
Runners
More quotes by Zach Braff
It's kind of ironic that my character is a doctor who acts very gay with his best friend. I don't see how gays could ever be doctors, they spend too much time whining about everything. Just get off your soapbox and go back to designing floral arrangements.
Zach Braff
Im just not really attracted to black chicks.
Zach Braff
My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
Zach Braff
When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
Zach Braff
I know every politician spins the truth a little.
Zach Braff
Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
Zach Braff
When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
Zach Braff
I'm a film geek man. I love toys. I love everything in filmmaking, so for me to just be around this technology is just so cool to watch it being used for the first time, some of the stuff.
Zach Braff
I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Zach Braff
It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
Zach Braff
Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.
Zach Braff
I think the saddest moments in life have humor in them. I have a memory of coming home from a funeral with my family in the back of a limousine and someone cracking a joke and us just hysterically belly laughing. It's how we always dealt with tragedy in our lives and I think it's such a healthy way to deal with sadness.
Zach Braff
I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?
Zach Braff
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
Zach Braff
I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.
Zach Braff
I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
Zach Braff
If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!
Zach Braff
When I was little I always wanted to drive a train. That, and become a baker.
Zach Braff
I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?
Zach Braff