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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Better
Really
Dump
Sat
Realized
Deserve
Taking
More quotes by Zach Braff
I don't know why people were so upset with me. Prince got his own symbol. I just wanted to adopt the handicap symbol as my own so I could park in handicap spots. Deformed people should be honored to park so close to me. Meeting a celebrity like me may give them hope in their mistake of a life.
Zach Braff
They say that guys who like chick flicks tend to do a little better with the ladies. Well, I INVENTED the chick flick, so you can pretty much guess where that leaves me.
Zach Braff
You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
Zach Braff
The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
Zach Braff
I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll hold it against him for stealing a loaf of bread.
Zach Braff
I blame Walt Disney well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?
Zach Braff
Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.
Zach Braff
I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.
Zach Braff
It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.
Zach Braff
I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.
Zach Braff
It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
Zach Braff
Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.
Zach Braff
Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
Zach Braff
I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
Zach Braff
I have no desire to make money off musicians. I just want to promote them because I want to share music.
Zach Braff
Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.
Zach Braff
Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.
Zach Braff
So, yeah, I mean, there is something universal about that feeling - that 20-something, what the hell am I going to do with my life, I'm lost and my parents are freaking me out, and what's the point? Every generation has a way of making that unique, but there are certain universals of that feeling.
Zach Braff
Lots of people were giving me flak when I made the deal to do the very last season of Scrubs for $350,000 an episode. When really I'm the one that's being cheated, because the writer's strike is keeping me from all the money that I could be making. I need to eat, too.
Zach Braff
I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Zach Braff
