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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Deserve
Taking
Better
Really
Dump
Sat
Realized

More quotes by Zach Braff

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It's kind of ironic that my character is a doctor who acts very gay with his best friend. I don't see how gays could ever be doctors, they spend too much time whining about everything. Just get off your soapbox and go back to designing floral arrangements.
Zach Braff
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If you're dumb enough to volunteer for the army, I don't see why we're supposed to feel so bad when you get shot. I'm not saying we should throw a party or anything, but is it such a tragedy? If I'd gotten shot before I made 'Garden State', yeah, that's a tragedy, but some red-state hick getting his legs blown off? Come on.
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Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.
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I said, I'm on this TV show and I love doing it, but I don't want to be known always as the silly Scrubs guy... So part of me was like, You know what? Life's short. Let's go for it.
Zach Braff
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Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
Zach Braff
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If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
Zach Braff
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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.
Zach Braff
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My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.
Zach Braff
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?
Zach Braff
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
Zach Braff
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I blame Walt Disney well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?
Zach Braff
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I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
Zach Braff
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I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff
Zach Braff
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Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.
Zach Braff
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It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.
Zach Braff
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I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
Zach Braff
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People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?
Zach Braff
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I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
Zach Braff
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It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.
Zach Braff
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Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.
Zach Braff