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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Really
Dump
Sat
Realized
Deserve
Taking
Better

More quotes by Zach Braff

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I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.
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It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
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In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.
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At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.
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You know, I've occasionally tried to watch other shows besides Scrubs, but comparing them is a bit like me competing in the special Olympics. Obviously I would win without contest, but the point is that they are trying their best.
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Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.
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People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.
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So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
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I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
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The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.
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Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
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It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.
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I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.
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I feel really bad for everyone who died on 9/11. Not just the people in the World Trade Center, Pentagon, or Flight 93, but all of the terrorists, too. 'Garden State' came out in 2004. That means none of them got a chance to see it. Let that sink in for a second. No wonder they're building a memorial.
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It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.
Zach Braff
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Yeah, I've banged some female costars. I swore I'd never tell their names, so instead I'll present some anagrams: Sahar Clahke and Haether Gharam.
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Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
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Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.
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People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.
Zach Braff