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I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Ass
Grown
Whatever
Men

More quotes by Zach Braff

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I lot of people remember when that kid spray-painted my brand new Porsche for Punk'd. That was pretty funny. He got me pretty good. Of course, most people don't know I eventually got him back with my own show. I call it a show, really it's just an hour-long video shot in my bedroom featuring the two of us.
Zach Braff
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I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
Zach Braff
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A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.
Zach Braff
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I tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team for besides holding me back and sucking? If I wanted that, I'd just walk on the set of 'Scrubs'.
Zach Braff
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If I had a billion dollars I would...oh wait...already do.
Zach Braff
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It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
Zach Braff
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In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.
Zach Braff
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What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Zach Braff
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I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.
Zach Braff
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It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture
Zach Braff
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I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
Zach Braff
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I really like just super dry comedy.
Zach Braff
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It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.
Zach Braff
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I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
Zach Braff
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Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.
Zach Braff
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Yeah, I saw the guy running out of the building carrying a rifle, I just didn't say anything to the cops because I was so happy that I wasn't the one who got shot.
Zach Braff
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If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
Zach Braff
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Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist
Zach Braff
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I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something
Zach Braff
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I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.
Zach Braff