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If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Combination
Blue
Polyester
Learned
Inbred
Faces
Smiley
Anything
Vests
Irresistible
Yellow
More quotes by Zach Braff
One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
Zach Braff
It used to be that you came out of school, and you got married - those who were going to get married. But my peers are getting married in their early 30s, so now there's like this extra 10 years of that angst.
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It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
Zach Braff
She can't say no if she's unconscious.
Zach Braff
It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture
Zach Braff
It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
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Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.
Zach Braff
You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.
Zach Braff
I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.
Zach Braff
Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.
Zach Braff
I think the Bible should be re-written for today's society. We can call it 'Scrubs.'
Zach Braff
Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
Zach Braff
I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?
Zach Braff
Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter... Well I'd probably keep it actually.
Zach Braff
Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out there for everybody to see. That is Zach Braff's secret to Zach Braff's success.
Zach Braff
I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?
Zach Braff
Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'
Zach Braff
I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.
Zach Braff
When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
Zach Braff
I was inspired by World Vision. It's almost like I sponsored (Donald) Faison and gave him an opportunity to do something with his life. What more would he want than to work with me?
Zach Braff