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I never taught a blind/deaf chick to read, but somehow I've managed to turn Scrubs into a watchable show. That may not sound like much, but take a look at my surrounding cast and ask yourself, who's the real miracle worker?
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
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South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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More quotes by Zach Braff
One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?
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It's not that I'm racist or anything, because I'm not, but I just don't think we should be wasting our time helping people that are going to die soon anyway.
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She can't say no if she's unconscious.
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In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.
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I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
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What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
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I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.
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I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.
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I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I've seen it save a lot of people's lives.
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My co-stars aren't bad actors, but they're no Zach Braff.
Zach Braff
There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.
Zach Braff
You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.
Zach Braff
A child's death is really of less value than an adult's. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that's not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.
Zach Braff
I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].
Zach Braff
That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.
Zach Braff
If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
Zach Braff
I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh
Zach Braff
I don't think that other races are inferior, I just think that there's something special about white people. Sometimes, when I think about all the things white people have accomplished throughout history, I smile, and I nod, and I think to myself, 'Yeah, I'm glad I'm on that team.'
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I had a very funny family.
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