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I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
England
Asterisk
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Coached
Next
Patriots
Everything
Accomplishing
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When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.
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I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?
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I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?
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Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.
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I mean, what's eleven million people now days?
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There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.
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That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.
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You always see actors complaining about being typecast and ruining their career. Really, I don't see the point in complaining. If the only role you can play well is a black dude, you're never going to get ahead in this town, and you should just accept it.
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Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.
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If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
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My mother's a psychologist, my stepfather's a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my dad's a lawyer. So it was all prominent in my life. I don't know anyone who doesn't know someone on some form of prescription medicine.
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I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll hold it against him for stealing a loaf of bread.
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Now, I'm not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I'll be quite clear. I've never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
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If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it's light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
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I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?
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I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.
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I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
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Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.
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I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
Zach Braff