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I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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England
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Patriots
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
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If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.
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I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.
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Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?
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Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
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Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something.
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I don't think that other races are inferior, I just think that there's something special about white people. Sometimes, when I think about all the things white people have accomplished throughout history, I smile, and I nod, and I think to myself, 'Yeah, I'm glad I'm on that team.'
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I know every politician spins the truth a little.
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As a kid who wasn't into sports, at school I felt almost alienated at times, whereas in the theatre community there was this amazing sense of camaraderie. Early on, we would go to rehearsals with my dad and I was like the mascot for the backstage crew. That was a big part of my childhood, so I dreamed of one day doing a play in London.
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I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.
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I heard about the Dalai Lama, you know and I thought to myself, why not me?
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It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
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I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?
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Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.
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Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
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The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
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I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
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