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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Trying
Never
Cough
Recommend
Hilarious
Dog
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More quotes by Zach Braff

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I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
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I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.
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I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else.
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Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.
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Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.
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Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out there for everybody to see. That is Zach Braff's secret to Zach Braff's success.
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I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
Zach Braff
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I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.
Zach Braff
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I donno, it's not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.
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Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that
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Lots of people were giving me flak when I made the deal to do the very last season of Scrubs for $350,000 an episode. When really I'm the one that's being cheated, because the writer's strike is keeping me from all the money that I could be making. I need to eat, too.
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It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.
Zach Braff
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My mother's a psychologist, my stepfather's a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my dad's a lawyer. So it was all prominent in my life. I don't know anyone who doesn't know someone on some form of prescription medicine.
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Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
Zach Braff
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I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?
Zach Braff
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A child's death is really of less value than an adult's. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that's not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.
Zach Braff
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I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.
Zach Braff
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
Zach Braff
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I think the Bible should be re-written for today's society. We can call it 'Scrubs.'
Zach Braff