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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Hilarious
Dog
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Trying
Never
Cough
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More quotes by Zach Braff

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I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
Zach Braff
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The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
Zach Braff
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
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Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
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When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?
Zach Braff
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At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.
Zach Braff
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I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?
Zach Braff
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To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.
Zach Braff
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Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.
Zach Braff
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Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.
Zach Braff
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People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.
Zach Braff
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I mean, what's eleven million people now days?
Zach Braff
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I blame Walt Disney well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?
Zach Braff
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Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.
Zach Braff
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I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.
Zach Braff
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It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.
Zach Braff
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As a kid who wasn't into sports, at school I felt almost alienated at times, whereas in the theatre community there was this amazing sense of camaraderie. Early on, we would go to rehearsals with my dad and I was like the mascot for the backstage crew. That was a big part of my childhood, so I dreamed of one day doing a play in London.
Zach Braff
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It's really hard to find parts that challenge me as an actor these days. At this point in my career, I feel like I can just sleepwalk through most of my roles and still do a better job than 90 percent of the actors out there.
Zach Braff
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It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
Zach Braff
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I was inspired by World Vision. It's almost like I sponsored (Donald) Faison and gave him an opportunity to do something with his life. What more would he want than to work with me?
Zach Braff