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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Cough
Recommend
Hilarious
Dog
Seen
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Never
More quotes by Zach Braff
I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
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I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
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I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?
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I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.
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It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
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You know how they do that effect in movies, where they make it look like you have a twin, but it's really just the same actor playing both characters in the scene? I knew this would be the best route, but I just wasn't comfortable dressing as a woman, so I had to hire other actors.
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It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.
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I don't care about image and all that nonsense. I'm in sweat pants every day. I don't play the game at all.
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If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
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Bigger than the Beatles? Well, how many grammys did they win? Exactly, none, yet I have one, and I've never even released a CD.
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I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
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I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.
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I am really driven, but my drive doesn't effect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.
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The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.
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I feel really bad for everyone who died on 9/11. Not just the people in the World Trade Center, Pentagon, or Flight 93, but all of the terrorists, too. 'Garden State' came out in 2004. That means none of them got a chance to see it. Let that sink in for a second. No wonder they're building a memorial.
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When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
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Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
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I'm sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it's all going according to plan and some weeks where you're super frustrated.
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The fact that 'Scrubs' is so popular in Israel is very important to me. I feel like I'm helping to cancel out the thousands of years of oppression the Jewish people have suffered.
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