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To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
People
Nobody
Struggle
Successful
Ever
Live
Work
Understatement
Every
Cursed
Life
Struggles

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I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?
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Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me
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It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.
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Im just not really attracted to black chicks.
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Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?
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Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.
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I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.
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My mother's a psychologist, my stepfather's a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my dad's a lawyer. So it was all prominent in my life. I don't know anyone who doesn't know someone on some form of prescription medicine.
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Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.
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I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.
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At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter
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I use the N word almost daily. It reminds me that I'm successful
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
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Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.
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The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.
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I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.
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I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
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I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league - I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you're interested.
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If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
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