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Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Actually
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Years
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More quotes by Zach Braff
Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.
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I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.
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The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
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I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.
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I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
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I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
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I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.
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I don't think that other races are inferior, I just think that there's something special about white people. Sometimes, when I think about all the things white people have accomplished throughout history, I smile, and I nod, and I think to myself, 'Yeah, I'm glad I'm on that team.'
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I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.
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I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.
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I had a very funny family.
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It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.
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I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.
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I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.
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I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
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I said, I'm on this TV show and I love doing it, but I don't want to be known always as the silly Scrubs guy... So part of me was like, You know what? Life's short. Let's go for it.
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Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?
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I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
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