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People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Zach
Mother
Confusing
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People
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Realizing
More quotes by Zach Braff
Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven.
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My mother's a psychologist, my stepfather's a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my dad's a lawyer. So it was all prominent in my life. I don't know anyone who doesn't know someone on some form of prescription medicine.
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I mean, I know thousands of people died and everything, but if it happened today, there's just no excuse. They'd be much safer inside a movie theater watching one of my movies instead of burning alive in a collapsing skyscraper.
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Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?
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The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
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The Jews are just clumsy bakers.
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Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.
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I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else.
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The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.
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If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me.
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I blame Walt Disney well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?
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You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.
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I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.
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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
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Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she's saying. Come on, she's a woman. But still, it's very cute.
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I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.
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A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.
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If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
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If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
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