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Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Everyone
Else
Trying
Love
Slack
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More quotes by Zach Braff

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If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
Zach Braff
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I don't know why people were so upset with me. Prince got his own symbol. I just wanted to adopt the handicap symbol as my own so I could park in handicap spots. Deformed people should be honored to park so close to me. Meeting a celebrity like me may give them hope in their mistake of a life.
Zach Braff
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So, yeah, I mean, there is something universal about that feeling - that 20-something, what the hell am I going to do with my life, I'm lost and my parents are freaking me out, and what's the point? Every generation has a way of making that unique, but there are certain universals of that feeling.
Zach Braff
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Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?
Zach Braff
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Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.
Zach Braff
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I am really driven, but my drive doesn't effect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.
Zach Braff
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Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
Zach Braff
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You always see actors complaining about being typecast and ruining their career. Really, I don't see the point in complaining. If the only role you can play well is a black dude, you're never going to get ahead in this town, and you should just accept it.
Zach Braff
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I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?
Zach Braff
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I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.
Zach Braff
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Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.
Zach Braff
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The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
Zach Braff
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If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it's light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
Zach Braff
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I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.
Zach Braff
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It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture
Zach Braff
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
Zach Braff
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I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?
Zach Braff
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I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Zach Braff
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Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.
Zach Braff
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When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?
Zach Braff