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I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Really
Truthfully
Arrogant
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Nobody
Guy
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Else
More quotes by Zach Braff
It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
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I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?
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I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?
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I really like just super dry comedy.
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So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don't see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
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I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?
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Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.
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I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.
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I don't like the term 'black people', I find it demeaning to those of us that actually qualify as 'people'.
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Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?
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Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out there for everybody to see. That is Zach Braff's secret to Zach Braff's success.
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Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
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I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh
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I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.
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My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
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I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?
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To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.
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I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
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