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You know, I've occasionally tried to watch other shows besides Scrubs, but comparing them is a bit like me competing in the special Olympics. Obviously I would win without contest, but the point is that they are trying their best.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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More quotes by Zach Braff

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At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter
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The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.
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I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
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When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
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Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.
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I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.
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I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.
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Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.
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I was inspired by World Vision. It's almost like I sponsored (Donald) Faison and gave him an opportunity to do something with his life. What more would he want than to work with me?
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I never go looking for child pornography, but I mean, if somebody sends me an email with some pictures, I'm not going to turn around and report them.
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I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.
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I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog
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One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.
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If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.
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I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.
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I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll hold it against him for stealing a loaf of bread.
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
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I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
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For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It's not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?
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The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.
Zach Braff