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I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Morning
Hooker
Next
Zach
Dream
Cocaine
Wanted
Hey
Ass
Realized
Line
Lines
Freakin

More quotes by Zach Braff

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She can't say no if she's unconscious.
Zach Braff
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The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.
Zach Braff
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I'm a film geek man. I love toys. I love everything in filmmaking, so for me to just be around this technology is just so cool to watch it being used for the first time, some of the stuff.
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Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.
Zach Braff
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The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.
Zach Braff
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People are always saying bad things about them, but really they think they're just trying to clean up our planet. I'm not saying it's right but, you know, we could all benefit from following that example.
Zach Braff
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I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
Zach Braff
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I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
Zach Braff
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I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.
Zach Braff
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
Zach Braff
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I really like just super dry comedy.
Zach Braff
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I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.
Zach Braff
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I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
Zach Braff
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
Zach Braff
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Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do
Zach Braff
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
Zach Braff
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When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
Zach Braff
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When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
Zach Braff
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Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.
Zach Braff
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What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Zach Braff