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Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Good
Killing
Think
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People
Greater
Wrong
History
Shows
Sometimes
Serves
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I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?
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I'm a busy guy I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don't know the difference and, let's face it, they aren't going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.
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It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
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Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
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You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.
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I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.
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That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.
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A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.
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The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
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I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.
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She can't say no if she's unconscious.
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I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.
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My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.
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So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don't see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.
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You always see actors complaining about being typecast and ruining their career. Really, I don't see the point in complaining. If the only role you can play well is a black dude, you're never going to get ahead in this town, and you should just accept it.
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At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter
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It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
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