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I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Chance
Jerk
Around
Hang
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Gay
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Good
Guy
Though
More quotes by Zach Braff
Bigger than the Beatles? Well, how many grammys did they win? Exactly, none, yet I have one, and I've never even released a CD.
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Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.
Zach Braff
The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.
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When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.
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I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.
Zach Braff
I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.
Zach Braff
It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.
Zach Braff
Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
Zach Braff
People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.
Zach Braff
I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
Zach Braff
Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.
Zach Braff
Well I don't like to think too far ahead because it scares me a little to think of what this world will come to after I'm gone, but I suppose life will have to go on, right? At least everyone will still be able to watch reruns of Scrubs.
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You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.
Zach Braff
My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
Zach Braff
Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
Zach Braff
Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.
Zach Braff
Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.
Zach Braff
When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?
Zach Braff
Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
Zach Braff
In a perfect world, everybody would be gay. I mean if everybody looked like Zach Braff, you just wouldn't be able to resist.
Zach Braff