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I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Kind
Later
Good
Guy
Though
Chance
Jerk
Around
Hang
Stills
Gay
Still
Mental
Even
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More quotes by Zach Braff

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My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.
Zach Braff
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I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
Zach Braff
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As a kid who wasn't into sports, at school I felt almost alienated at times, whereas in the theatre community there was this amazing sense of camaraderie. Early on, we would go to rehearsals with my dad and I was like the mascot for the backstage crew. That was a big part of my childhood, so I dreamed of one day doing a play in London.
Zach Braff
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I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.
Zach Braff
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If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it's light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
Zach Braff
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The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.
Zach Braff
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Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.
Zach Braff
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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
Zach Braff
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I love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket AND another portrait for my bedroom.
Zach Braff
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My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
Zach Braff
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After all meat is meat. I don't understand why so many people are bithing about it. It's very healthy and contains lots of vitamins
Zach Braff
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
Zach Braff
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It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.
Zach Braff
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I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I've seen it save a lot of people's lives.
Zach Braff
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You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.
Zach Braff
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I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.
Zach Braff
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I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.
Zach Braff
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I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.
Zach Braff
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
Zach Braff
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I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.
Zach Braff