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I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Though
Chance
Jerk
Around
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Good
Guy
More quotes by Zach Braff
I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?
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I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.
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I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.
Zach Braff
Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.
Zach Braff
I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple.
Zach Braff
You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.
Zach Braff
Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.
Zach Braff
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?
Zach Braff
The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.
Zach Braff
Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.
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It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
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People always say The God Father is the #1 movie of all time. But ask yourself, did you see Zach Braff in it....No you didn't. So then by default it goes to Garden State..and if youwatch two episodes of scrubs back to back that counts as the #2.
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I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
Zach Braff
Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.
Zach Braff
The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.
Zach Braff
If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!
Zach Braff
The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
Zach Braff
I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
Zach Braff
I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.
Zach Braff
It's not that I'm racist or anything, because I'm not, but I just don't think we should be wasting our time helping people that are going to die soon anyway.
Zach Braff