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I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Written
Guy
Jesus
Anything
Starred
Directed
Movie

More quotes by Zach Braff

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I lot of people remember when that kid spray-painted my brand new Porsche for Punk'd. That was pretty funny. He got me pretty good. Of course, most people don't know I eventually got him back with my own show. I call it a show, really it's just an hour-long video shot in my bedroom featuring the two of us.
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Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.
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People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?
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Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.
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I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
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I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
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I'm sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it's all going according to plan and some weeks where you're super frustrated.
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I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.
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Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.
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Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.
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When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?
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I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.
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I think the saddest moments in life have humor in them. I have a memory of coming home from a funeral with my family in the back of a limousine and someone cracking a joke and us just hysterically belly laughing. It's how we always dealt with tragedy in our lives and I think it's such a healthy way to deal with sadness.
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I don't care about image and all that nonsense. I'm in sweat pants every day. I don't play the game at all.
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I wouldn't say I'm bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I'd say probably, yeah, but as far as I know, the bible is never clear on this.
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It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough
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My co-stars aren't bad actors, but they're no Zach Braff.
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I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State
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When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
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