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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Bible
Real
Never
More quotes by Zach Braff
If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.
Zach Braff
In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.
Zach Braff
If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
Zach Braff
I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
Zach Braff
I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.
Zach Braff
I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?
Zach Braff
People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.
Zach Braff
I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.
Zach Braff
Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.
Zach Braff
I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.
Zach Braff
If we're going to solve the problems in North Korea, the first thing we're going to have to do is start helping them get basic amenities like electricity, televisions, and DVD players over there. Otherwise, how can they watch 'Garden State'?
Zach Braff
I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Zach Braff
I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog
Zach Braff
I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.
Zach Braff
I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.
Zach Braff
Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?
Zach Braff
In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.
Zach Braff
I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.
Zach Braff
I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
Zach Braff
I blame Walt Disney well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?
Zach Braff
