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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Mentions
Bible
Real
Never
More quotes by Zach Braff
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
Zach Braff
Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven.
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I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
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It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.
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In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.
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I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
Zach Braff
That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.
Zach Braff
Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?
Zach Braff
One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
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A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.
Zach Braff
I think I suffer from some mild depression.
Zach Braff
I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.
Zach Braff
I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Zach Braff
One time this guy on the street wanted me to give him a medical opinion, because I'm a doctor on TV. I'm also a real doctor. But I'm also Zack Braff, so I kicked him in the groin.
Zach Braff
I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.
Zach Braff
Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.
Zach Braff
I'm a busy guy I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don't know the difference and, let's face it, they aren't going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.
Zach Braff
The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.
Zach Braff
Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist
Zach Braff
Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.
Zach Braff