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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Mentions
Bible
Real
Never

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Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
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I use the N word almost daily. It reminds me that I'm successful
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I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something
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I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?
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I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.
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It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.
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I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.
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I blame Walt Disney well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?
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I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
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It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.
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I've always tried to learn from the greats: Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus... it's just that there's this tremendous pressure to correct all the things they got wrong.
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I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.
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I said, I'm on this TV show and I love doing it, but I don't want to be known always as the silly Scrubs guy... So part of me was like, You know what? Life's short. Let's go for it.
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The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?
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Look on the bright side that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.
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Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.
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The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.
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It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
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Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.
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She can't say no if she's unconscious.
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