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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Real
Never
Mentions
Bible

More quotes by Zach Braff

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Prohibition didn't work, so why should emancipation work? I think we should just stick with a system that has proven to be effective.
Zach Braff
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I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something
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I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.
Zach Braff
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I'm not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away.
Zach Braff
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The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.
Zach Braff
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I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.
Zach Braff
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I really like just super dry comedy.
Zach Braff
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I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.
Zach Braff
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Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.
Zach Braff
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I never go looking for child pornography, but I mean, if somebody sends me an email with some pictures, I'm not going to turn around and report them.
Zach Braff
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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
Zach Braff
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Im just not really attracted to black chicks.
Zach Braff
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Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.
Zach Braff
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I've turned down a lot of proposed scripts for Scrubs episodes, mainly ones with AIDs patients. It sickens me, really. If you don't want AIDs, don't be a ice cream man. Or African. I'm neither and I'm fine.
Zach Braff
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At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter
Zach Braff
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I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?
Zach Braff
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I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?
Zach Braff
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
Zach Braff
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Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?
Zach Braff
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I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.
Zach Braff