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I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Mentions
Bible
Real
Never

More quotes by Zach Braff

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I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
Zach Braff
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You know, I've occasionally tried to watch other shows besides Scrubs, but comparing them is a bit like me competing in the special Olympics. Obviously I would win without contest, but the point is that they are trying their best.
Zach Braff
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What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Zach Braff
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I mean, personally, I would have had no problem surviving. Come on, how hard is it to swim?
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I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. I would have much rather it had been that I am secretly a dentist or that I love soup.
Zach Braff
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One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.
Zach Braff
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I love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket AND another portrait for my bedroom.
Zach Braff
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I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
Zach Braff
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It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.
Zach Braff
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I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.
Zach Braff
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I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league - I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you're interested.
Zach Braff
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Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?
Zach Braff
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
Zach Braff
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When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?
Zach Braff
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I think they're bogus, honestly. How utter garbage like Crash and Million Dollar Baby can win best picture, where true works of art such as Garden State go untouched is beyond me. It just proves how close-minded America really is, and I refuse to take part in it.
Zach Braff
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I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.
Zach Braff
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I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Zach Braff
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It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
Zach Braff
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I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.
Zach Braff
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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
Zach Braff