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I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Season
Seasons
Fronts
Front
Almost
Orphans
Much
Orphan
Love
Touching
Holiday
More quotes by Zach Braff
At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter
Zach Braff
Now, I'm not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I'll be quite clear. I've never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
Zach Braff
A child's death is really of less value than an adult's. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that's not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.
Zach Braff
After all meat is meat. I don't understand why so many people are bithing about it. It's very healthy and contains lots of vitamins
Zach Braff
I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
Zach Braff
The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
Zach Braff
I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
Zach Braff
Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?
Zach Braff
I'm a busy guy I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don't know the difference and, let's face it, they aren't going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.
Zach Braff
Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.
Zach Braff
I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?
Zach Braff
People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.
Zach Braff
In a perfect world, everybody would be gay. I mean if everybody looked like Zach Braff, you just wouldn't be able to resist.
Zach Braff
I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.
Zach Braff
Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.
Zach Braff
Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.
Zach Braff
Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
Zach Braff
If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
Zach Braff
Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.
Zach Braff
When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?
Zach Braff