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I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Almost
Orphans
Much
Orphan
Love
Touching
Holiday
Season
Seasons
Fronts
Front

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I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.
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I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another movie.
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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
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I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.
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There's a lot of gray area in the law. Who can say, without a doubt, that I was in the wrong?
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Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.
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I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
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When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
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I've always tried to learn from the greats: Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus... it's just that there's this tremendous pressure to correct all the things they got wrong.
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My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
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I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.
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People keep asking me whether I'm going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I'm like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
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I find it hard to believe that so many people doubt the existence of God. I mean, seriously, I'm here, so is it such a stretch to imagine that another all-powerful being could exist somewhere in the universe?
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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It's like denying the cure for polio or something.
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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
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I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
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