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Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Enough
Fame
Wont
Children
Bits
Hospital
Heart
Feeling
Hospitals
Long
Knowing
Visit
Always
Feelings
Locals
Kids
Local
Able
Cancer
Warms
Live
Whenever
Surpass
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I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
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I lot of people remember when that kid spray-painted my brand new Porsche for Punk'd. That was pretty funny. He got me pretty good. Of course, most people don't know I eventually got him back with my own show. I call it a show, really it's just an hour-long video shot in my bedroom featuring the two of us.
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I use the N word almost daily. It reminds me that I'm successful
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If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as I connect with my fans.
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One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
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Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
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The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.
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It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
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