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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Show
Fake
Tell
Sign
Shows
Invisible
Autograph
Kids
Totally
Markers
Best
Fortune
Retarded
Picture
Autographs
Later
Ink
Asks
Saves

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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
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I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.
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It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.
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I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
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Working on 'Scrubs' made me feel guilty because I realized that if I had decided to become an actual doctor, instead of just playing one, I could probably have found a cure to cancer within five years.
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Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
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It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!
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They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I'm above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.
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If nothing else, I'm making a movie that I'll enjoy.
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I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?
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I'm a big proponent of 'Don't Ask, Don't tell,' in fact, I enforce it strictly on all of my dates. First, I don't ask them for sex, and then I warn them not to tell anyone after I'm through.
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It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.
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I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.
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I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.
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I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.
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When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
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Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like.
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If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better.
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You know, I've occasionally tried to watch other shows besides Scrubs, but comparing them is a bit like me competing in the special Olympics. Obviously I would win without contest, but the point is that they are trying their best.
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