Quote

Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Picture
Autographs
Later
Ink
Asks
Saves
Show
Fake
Tell
Sign
Shows
Invisible
Autograph
Kids
Totally
Markers
Best
Fortune
Retarded

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Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.
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I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.
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Seriously, when's the last time you saw me wear shorts?
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Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.
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I really do take more vacations than the president. You can quote me on that.
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One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.
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The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?
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Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
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Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.
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I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.
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I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
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Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter... Well I'd probably keep it actually.
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I don't like the term 'black people', I find it demeaning to those of us that actually qualify as 'people'.
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I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.
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I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.
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The fact that 'Scrubs' is so popular in Israel is very important to me. I feel like I'm helping to cancel out the thousands of years of oppression the Jewish people have suffered.
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I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.
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Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out there for everybody to see. That is Zach Braff's secret to Zach Braff's success.
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Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.
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I'm 26 years old, and I've spent my whole life waiting for something else to start. Now I realize that this is all there is, and I'm going to try to live my life like that.
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