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You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Work
Always
Never
People
Plantation
Plantations
Complaining
Slow
Black

More quotes by Zach Braff

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I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.
Zach Braff
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People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday.
Zach Braff
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I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.
Zach Braff
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When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
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They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?
Zach Braff
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I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't really matter what I do or my lines are, I'm still Zach Braff, and people know I'm better than them.
Zach Braff
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I feel really bad for everyone who died on 9/11. Not just the people in the World Trade Center, Pentagon, or Flight 93, but all of the terrorists, too. 'Garden State' came out in 2004. That means none of them got a chance to see it. Let that sink in for a second. No wonder they're building a memorial.
Zach Braff
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When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
Zach Braff
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The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
Zach Braff
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I blame Walt Disney well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?
Zach Braff
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I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.
Zach Braff
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I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.
Zach Braff
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A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.
Zach Braff
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People are always saying bad things about them, but really they think they're just trying to clean up our planet. I'm not saying it's right but, you know, we could all benefit from following that example.
Zach Braff
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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It's like denying the cure for polio or something.
Zach Braff
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Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.
Zach Braff
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It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
Zach Braff
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If I had a billion dollars I would...oh wait...already do.
Zach Braff
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I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?
Zach Braff
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If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it's light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
Zach Braff