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My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Tears
Laughing
Patients
Cure
Cures
Cancer
Patient
Laugh
More quotes by Zach Braff
I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.
Zach Braff
I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.
Zach Braff
I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.
Zach Braff
The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?
Zach Braff
I really like just super dry comedy.
Zach Braff
I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
Zach Braff
I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.
Zach Braff
I blame Walt Disney well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?
Zach Braff
One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.
Zach Braff
Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.
Zach Braff
It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
Zach Braff
I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?
Zach Braff
I mean, what's eleven million people now days?
Zach Braff
You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
Zach Braff
People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?
Zach Braff
I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.
Zach Braff
When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?
Zach Braff
Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn't they just swim to safety?
Zach Braff
I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?
Zach Braff
Actually when I gave out the script, I gave it with a CD of all the music I wanted to put in the movie, and again, we never thought we'd get all that music.
Zach Braff