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If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Treated
Given
Women
Wanted
Men
Penises
Equally

More quotes by Zach Braff

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It has been pretty much downhill ever since the 13th amendment
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Now, I'm not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I'll be quite clear. I've never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
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Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that
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There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.
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I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
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Yeah, I've banged some female costars. I swore I'd never tell their names, so instead I'll present some anagrams: Sahar Clahke and Haether Gharam.
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People are always saying bad things about them, but really they think they're just trying to clean up our planet. I'm not saying it's right but, you know, we could all benefit from following that example.
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Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.
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I tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team for besides holding me back and sucking? If I wanted that, I'd just walk on the set of 'Scrubs'.
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Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
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I mean, what's eleven million people now days?
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I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
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I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.
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Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.
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I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?
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It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
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When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.
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You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.
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I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league - I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you're interested.
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I think a big part of being a success is confidence. Just look at me, I know I'm successful, and I am.
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