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If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Given
Women
Wanted
Men
Penises
Equally
Treated
More quotes by Zach Braff
The fact that 'Scrubs' is so popular in Israel is very important to me. I feel like I'm helping to cancel out the thousands of years of oppression the Jewish people have suffered.
Zach Braff
Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'
Zach Braff
People keep asking me whether I'm going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I'm like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
Zach Braff
I think a big part of being a success is confidence. Just look at me, I know I'm successful, and I am.
Zach Braff
A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.
Zach Braff
Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out there for everybody to see. That is Zach Braff's secret to Zach Braff's success.
Zach Braff
I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.
Zach Braff
People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?
Zach Braff
Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?
Zach Braff
It's kind of ironic that my character is a doctor who acts very gay with his best friend. I don't see how gays could ever be doctors, they spend too much time whining about everything. Just get off your soapbox and go back to designing floral arrangements.
Zach Braff
That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.
Zach Braff
I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.
Zach Braff
Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?
Zach Braff
I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.
Zach Braff
Lots of people were giving me flak when I made the deal to do the very last season of Scrubs for $350,000 an episode. When really I'm the one that's being cheated, because the writer's strike is keeping me from all the money that I could be making. I need to eat, too.
Zach Braff
I don't want to be one of those guys, but Snape DOES kill Dumbledore.
Zach Braff
When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.
Zach Braff
I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
Zach Braff
I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Zach Braff
I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
Zach Braff