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I mean, I'm a writer, actor, AND director. Not to rock the boat or anything, but compare that to a carpenter and, in the end, who is the better man?

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Men
Rocks
Actor
Writer
Carpenter
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More quotes by Zach Braff

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The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?
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When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.
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I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.
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The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
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Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
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I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?
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If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.
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At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.
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Look on the bright side that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.
Zach Braff
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I don't know why people were so upset with me. Prince got his own symbol. I just wanted to adopt the handicap symbol as my own so I could park in handicap spots. Deformed people should be honored to park so close to me. Meeting a celebrity like me may give them hope in their mistake of a life.
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Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.
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People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.
Zach Braff
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I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State
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At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter
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Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.
Zach Braff
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?
Zach Braff
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Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.
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You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
Zach Braff
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I've been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.
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It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.
Zach Braff