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When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
Zach Braff
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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
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Guys
Interested
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Turning
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None
More quotes by Zach Braff
I'm 26 years old, and I've spent my whole life waiting for something else to start. Now I realize that this is all there is, and I'm going to try to live my life like that.
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Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.
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I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
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Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart!
Zach Braff
It's kind of ironic that my character is a doctor who acts very gay with his best friend. I don't see how gays could ever be doctors, they spend too much time whining about everything. Just get off your soapbox and go back to designing floral arrangements.
Zach Braff
Look on the bright side that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.
Zach Braff
Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.
Zach Braff
Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
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I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
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Yeah, I've banged some female costars. I swore I'd never tell their names, so instead I'll present some anagrams: Sahar Clahke and Haether Gharam.
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I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.
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I lot of people remember when that kid spray-painted my brand new Porsche for Punk'd. That was pretty funny. He got me pretty good. Of course, most people don't know I eventually got him back with my own show. I call it a show, really it's just an hour-long video shot in my bedroom featuring the two of us.
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Well I don't like to think too far ahead because it scares me a little to think of what this world will come to after I'm gone, but I suppose life will have to go on, right? At least everyone will still be able to watch reruns of Scrubs.
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Bigger than the Beatles? Well, how many grammys did they win? Exactly, none, yet I have one, and I've never even released a CD.
Zach Braff
I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
Zach Braff
Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?
Zach Braff
I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray.
Zach Braff
I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.
Zach Braff
People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.
Zach Braff
Yeah, I saw the guy running out of the building carrying a rifle, I just didn't say anything to the cops because I was so happy that I wasn't the one who got shot.
Zach Braff
