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A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Thinking
Tragedy
People
Consider
Humor
Ways
Opportunity
Also
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I really like just super dry comedy.
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I know every politician spins the truth a little.
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Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.
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One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?
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If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.
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I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
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I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.
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I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.
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Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that
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My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.
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I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something
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They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I'm above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.
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Well I don't like to think too far ahead because it scares me a little to think of what this world will come to after I'm gone, but I suppose life will have to go on, right? At least everyone will still be able to watch reruns of Scrubs.
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Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.
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Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.
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I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?
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Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.
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Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.
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Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
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