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I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.

Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: April 6
Actor
Blogger
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
South Orange
New Jersey
Zachary Israel Braff
Zachary Zach Braff
Viagra
Unless
Already
Woman
Never

More quotes by Zach Braff

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I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.
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If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.
Zach Braff
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I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.
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Look on the bright side that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.
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Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
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I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
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I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.
Zach Braff
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It used to be that you came out of school, and you got married - those who were going to get married. But my peers are getting married in their early 30s, so now there's like this extra 10 years of that angst.
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They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?
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If nothing else, I'm making a movie that I'll enjoy.
Zach Braff
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You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.
Zach Braff
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Now, I'm not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I'll be quite clear. I've never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
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People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.
Zach Braff
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I was originally set to star in 'The Bourne Identity,' but I found it too difficult to even pretend to forget who I was.
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I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE!
Zach Braff
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I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.
Zach Braff
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Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.
Zach Braff
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I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.
Zach Braff
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I never taught a blind/deaf chick to read, but somehow I've managed to turn Scrubs into a watchable show. That may not sound like much, but take a look at my surrounding cast and ask yourself, who's the real miracle worker?
Zach Braff
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I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.
Zach Braff