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I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

Yogi Berra

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Yogi Berra
Age: 90 †
Born: 1925
Born: May 12
Died: 2015
Died: September 22
Baseball Manager
Baseball Player
St. Louis
Missouri
Lawrence Peter Yogi Berra
Lawrence Peter Berra
Listen
Conditions
Waiting
Funny
Drunk
Condition
Shouldn
Drive
Wait

More quotes by Yogi Berra

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Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.
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On being the guest of honor at an awards banquet: Thank you for making this day necessary.
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It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
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I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.
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When I'm sittin' down to dinner with the family, stuff [another Yogiism] just pops out. And they'll say, 'Dad, you just said another one.' And I don't even know what the heck I said.
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You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
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The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
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In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
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Anyone who understands Jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's what's so simple about it.
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Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.
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Nobody comes here anymore, its too crowded
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You can't make anybody do anything, if they don't want to.
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It's not too far it just seems like it is.
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As a general comment on baseball:90% of the game is half mental.
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The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to see the game anymore.
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You can tell a lot just by looking at it.
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If the fans don’t wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop ‘em.
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Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.
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If my father was alive to hear that, he'd turn over in his grave.
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You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.
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